My other life
by RegenboogPanda
Summary: This story is about Dean, Sam and Bella travelling together instead of just Sam and Dean. The story takes place three weeks after Edward left Bella and 3 months after John Winchester died. Charlie Swan and John Winchester were good friends. No pairs yet. Rated M to be safe for now!
1. Chapter 1

**This story is about Dean, Sam and Bella travelling together instead of just Sam and Dean. The story takes place three weeks after Edward left Bella and 3 months after John Winchester died. Charlie Swan and John Winchester were good friends, though, Charlie wasn't aware of the fact that the Winchesters were hunters. He met John in the army.**

**Bella had already traveled with the Winchesters once before. From age 12 'till 16. Her parents thought she was simply living with John, because she couldn't handle the divorce of her parents. After that, she went to live with her mom and when she was 17 she went to live with her dad. I've also changed their age a bit, to make to story more believable. **

**Dean: 24  
>Sam: 22<br>Bella: 20**

**I hope you like it!`**

It's been three weeks. Three weeks since.. since He _dumped_ me. Left me in the woods. All alone. I tried calling them, every single one of them.  
>But all of their phones were disconnected. I even tried emailing them, but no one responded. All of their stuff disappeared from the house as well. No sign that they were ever here.<p>

I faintly remember being carried out of the woods that night, by one of the Quileutes, I think his name was Sam? He seemed very angry when he found me, kept asking me if I was hurt. Well, my heart was broken, but for some reason, I was sure he didn't mean that. When I mentioned the Cullen's, he seemed to get even angrier, like he really hated them. Like they did something to him personally. I wonder what happened.

He's not the only Sam I know, though. The other Sam.. he's awesome, same as his brother. I used to live with him, his father and Dean. I think it's been about a year now, since I left that life. Honestly, I do kind of miss it. The rush, the action. Feeling the adrenaline flowing through my body. But then I figured it was time to go live with my mom, you know, before I actually died.

My mom never found out what I was doing with the Winchesters, neither did my dad. I didn't want them to, they'd probably get a heart-attack if they found that out. Besides, I left that life, after the three of them kept pushing to go back to my mom. Not because they didn't want me around any more, they did. But mostly because they didn't want me to die, when we were chasing ghosts, demons and everything else that kills people.

I must say, it did come as a shock for me, when I found out about the Cullen's. Not because they were vampires, I could live with that, but more because they were living amongst humans. I hadn't seen that before. Vampires handling blood-lust. I did run in to vampires before, but they were different. Not so freakishly pale, and their eyes were also different. I should talk about this with John, maybe he had more information about it.

For some reason, I felt less down and depressed thinking of the Winchesters. Maybe I should contact them, see if they could use an extra player for hunting. I got out of bed, slowly putting my feet on the cold floor. The floorboard squeaked a little, under my full weight, as I slowly made my way downstairs. Charlie was sitting on the couch watching football, though the TV was nearly muted. I guess I should take the blame for that, I've been having loads of nightmares lately, which kept scaring Charlie half to death.

"Hey Ch-Dad, what's up?" I said while walking towards the couch and slowly sitting down. I did everything slowly and carefully lately, as if not to scare Charlie with any sudden movements.  
>"What are you doing up, everything alright?" He responded, looking worried. I just smiled,<br>"Yeah, I'm fine, can't a girl just come sit next to you and watch a football game?"  
>"Bells, you hate football."<br>He was right, I really didn't like it, but I just wanted him to stop worrying.  
>"Nah, not really, I just have no clue on how it works, anyways, who's winning?" Charlie seemed satisfied with the answer and tried to explain the rules to me, in a way you would explain it to a toddler. I almost wanted to say that I wasn't five anymore, but he actually seemed happy talking to me about this, without it being awkward, so I just let him talk.<p>

Surprisingly enough, I actually understood the game and was cheering Charlie's favorite team on with him. The game ended about an hour later. I took a deep breath and tried to mentally prepare myself for this talk. I wasn't sure on how Charlie would react, if he did agree, it meant I'd be leaving again.  
>"So, um, Dad?" I uncomfortable started, "I've been thinking. You know, about me being not too happy lately with everything that has been going on?"<br>Charlie stopped and turned to face me. He looked sad, which made me feel more guilty.

I explained what I wanted to do now. Told him that the Winchesters were always good to me, and would be a good change of environment. When I was done, I was almost in tears but Charlie did understood that I needed this.  
>"I'll come by to visit, but Dad, I need this. I need to be away for now, since everything reminds me of him."<br>Charlie nodded and gave a sad smile.  
>"I get it, Bells, I do. And I'm sorry I wasn't more of a support for you."<br>"Don't worry about that Dad, I don't think anyone could. But, um, I'm going to go to bed now, and I'll call the Winchesters tomorrow, okay?"  
>Charlie nodded and wished me goodnight, while I got up and walked upstairs. Right before I fell asleep, I took a deep breath and smiled. From tomorrow on, things would be better, I was sure of it.<p>

"Come on, pick up the damn phone!" I fussed, "Bells! Language!" I heard Charlie yell from the kitchen. "Sorry!" John wouldn't answer his phone, so I decided to try Dean. "_Yeah_"  
>"Dean?" I tried, since he never bothered to say his name,<br>"_Yeah? Bells? Is that you?_"  
>I smiled, "Yeah, it's me. Hey, I was wondering. Are you, by any chance, in the neighbourhood?"<br>There was a brief silence on the other side  
>"<em>I think we're about 2 hours away from Forks, we just need to finish some business here. Eh, say we meet for dinner? We've got to talk to you about something."<br>"_Dinner sounds fine, and I need to talk to you about something as well, but we'll discuss that during dinner, okay?"  
>He agreed and hung up. I smiled, 'this'll be good, just like old-times' I thought. I couldn't wait to see the guys again.<p>

I made arrangements the entire day, to meet up with my friends, letting them know I was leaving. I know I probably should wait until the guys actually say okay, but even if they didn't, I would still go. I needed to get out of here, this place was killing me. I was meeting up with my friends from school first, after that, I would go to the reservation to say goodbye to Jake. Angela, Mike, Eric and Jessica agreed to meet up at a café, to have some drinks. When I arrived, they'd already taken seats in the back, where it was more quiet.

"Hey guys," I shyly said when walking up to them.  
>I wasn't really shy, but better to keep the act up while I was still here, "Thanks for coming."<br>They all said 'hi' and smiled, I knew they just really wanted to know why I asked them to come. After we'd ordered and received our drinks, I decided to just go for it and explain myself.  
>"So, um, I'll get straight to the point," I said, while grasping my glass.<br>"I know you guys haven't really seen me at all lately, and I'm sorry for that. The reason I asked you to come here is to let you know I'm leaving Forks."  
>Jessica, naturally, was the first to speak up, "Why? Can't you just, like, forget it about it and, like, move on?"<br>Well, I certainly wasn't going to miss her conversations.  
>"Well, no, Jessica, I can't. It hurts to much. I'm going to live with some friends of the family, of which I know will do me good. I was just hoping you guys would want to keep in touch with me."<br>Angela nodded and grabbed my hand, "Of course we'll stay in touch with you Bella, you're our friend. I'm going to miss you."  
>I smiled at her, she really was a good friend. I knew Jessica and Mike wouldn't stay in touch, Eric might, since he was dating Angela. Angela, I was sure of, she would try her best to stay in touch with me. So I would definitely try to do this as well.<br>"Thanks, Angela, that means a lot to me."

The rest of the time we spend talking about 'the good old times' that had occurred in the last couple of months. When it was about 3 in the afternoon, I explained I had to go somewhere else and we said our goodbyes. Angela made me promise to call her every week. I would try my best to do that, I did tell her, that this might not be possible all the time, which she understood. I got in my truck and head off to the reservation. I was kind of dreading this moment, Jake wasn't going to like this.

He was waiting for me, outside. We'd agreed to take a walk, which ended up on the beach.  
>"So, why'd you want to meet up?"<br>I didn't say anything for a little while, not sure how to. After a few minutes, Jake was starting to get impatient.  
>"Come on, Bella, spit it out already."<br>I took a deep breath, "I'm leaving."  
>He looked confused, "Okay? You wanted to meet up, to tell me you're going? I don't get it."<br>I turned to face him, "I'm leaving Forks, Jake. I'm going away."  
>I started walking again, not being able to stand his sad puppy-dog look. He didn't move for a little while and I just kept walking, until he ran after me, demanding a explanation. I tried explaining, but in the end, the moment I said Cullen, he wouldn't listen. I then got a text from Dean, saying he was about 30 minutes out.<br>I apologized to Jake and said I had to go. He didn't want to say goodbye, which I knew he would regret. But he'd have to find that out for himself.

I drove home, feeling nervous. Would they still look the same? And what was so important that they couldn't tell me over the phone? I hoped everyone was alright. I got home about 20 minutes later, leaving 10 minutes to spare to change clothes. Not long after, we heard a car stopping and people getting out. A few seconds later, a knock was heard on the door. Charlie got up to open it, to reveal…

**That's chapter one!** **I hope you liked it.  
>Chapter 2 will follow soon!<strong>  
><strong>Please R&amp;R and if there are any questions, please let me know!<strong>

**Regenboogpanda**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again!  
>A couple of things before we start off!<br>1. I'm so sorry for the terribly long wait! It took me longer than expected to actually sit down and start writing. Plus, the occasional blockage wasn't helping.  
>I know there are loads of writers that complain about writer blocks, so I won't get into that as much, but do know I also have a full-time job (no excuse but still) that requires a lot of focus.<br>2. Thank you for the reviews, some have been very helpful, for adding my story to your favorites and for following this story! That was actually a great boost to keep on going!  
>3. I'd also like to ask, if any one of you are interested in Beta-reading, please let me know, I really need one!<strong>

So, here's chapter two!  
>Again, sorry for the wait! :)<p>

_Not long after, we heard a car stopping and people getting out.  
>A few seconds later, a knock was heard on the door.<br>Charlie got up to open it, to reveal…_

Sam and I were about 2 hours south from Forks, when I got a call from Bella. I already thought about stopping by the Swan's residence, since we hadn't told the Swan's yet about our father. We hadn't really spoken to anyone yet. At the moment we were chasing a Wendigo in the woods.  
>"Dean?" Sam called, "you okay?" I looked up, facing my brother.<p>

"Yeah, Sammy, I'm all good."  
>Usually Sam would comment on that, telling me to stop calling him 'Sammy'. He hated that. But not anymore. Ever since Dad was killed, I don't know, I guess he just didn't mind anymore.<br>"Who was that on the phone?" Sam asked.  
>"Bells, she wants to ask us something, so we'll be having dinner at her place tonight."<p>

It took us about 3 hours to track the Wendigo down. Just like last time, the creature was hiding out in a cave-like environment. I had a flashgun on me, just in case, since they really didn't like fire. No one does, I guess. The problem now was, how do we lure it out. Sure, tracking isn't that hard, but actually killing the thing, now that's a whole different story. The path in the cave split up in two paths, when we were about 10 minutes in. I signaled Sam to take the left path, while I took the right one. He nodded and slowly walked forward.

After five more minutes in the cave, I walked into a bigger space. I used the flashlight to look around. I tensed when I heard a muffled sound. I shone the flashlight up, towards the ceiling and saw 2 people hanging from a rope. 'Shit, this ain't good.'

"DEAN!" Someone called from behind me. It sounded like Sam, but it couldn't be, I sent him off the other way. I paid close attention to the road, there were no other forks. Then I did the most stupidest thing I've done in a long time. I turned around to see who it was. 'Fuck, it's-.'  
>And that's when my lights went out. Or, well, <em>something<em>happened. That's the last thing I remember. Next thing I know, I'm hanging next to the other two, with a massive headache, I might add.

"DEAN! You okay?" I heard Sam call. I slowly opened my eyes, looking down.  
>"Sammy? Be careful, that thing is out here somewhere. Son of a bitch hit my head."<br>Sam nodded, "Ok, but I do have to get you down, I won't be very helpful if I also get caught." He grabbed his knife and climbed up a boulder that was next to us.

"You gotta swing, Dean, I won't be able to reach you from here." I sighed, 'this'll be fun, _and_painful,' as the ropes were cutting in my skin. I started swinging, until I reached Sam. He grabbed my jacket and pulled me towards him, just enough so I was able to touch the boulder with my feet. He then cut my ropes. 'That'll leave a bruise' I thought.

"We're going to have to get those two down as well." Sam nodded,  
>"yeah, but first we have to kill that Wendigo, otherwise it'll be no use."<br>"True that. Let's go kill us some Wendigo, shall we?"

We agreed on setting a trap for the thing. It was bound to come back, sooner or later. We quietly sat behind the boulder and waited. That was one of the things you would learn. Wait. Although, I must say, I'm not the most patient person in the world. I was about to get up and see where the Wendigo went, when Sam grabbed my jacket and pointed towards the path I came from.  
>"Look" he mouthed, I looked at the path and saw it standing there, looking up. He growled, probably noticing I was no longer there. Then he did something we were hoping he would do. He started sniffing the air and slowly walked forward. 'Come on, you son of a bitch, just a little further..' It was almost as if the beast heard my thoughts and paused. I swallowed, 'come on, come on!' I could feel a drop of sweat making its way down my chin.<p>

The Wendigo, after about five minutes, stepped forward. That's all it took, one step. Sam and I jumped out, Sam in behind him and me at the front. I grabbed the flare-gun and before the Wendigo could go anywhere, I shot it in the face. It screamed a high pitch scream while we watched it go up in flames. Then I heard another scream and looked up.

"Well, I think that woke them up," I said while nudging Sam, who also turned to look up.  
>"Let's get them down, shall we?"<br>"Yeah, let's." Sam agreed.

We climbed up the boulder again and told the guy and girl to swing towards us. When we got them down I asked if they were alright.  
>"Yeah, I think we're fine," the lady answered. "But, who are you?" I looked at Sam, he just shrugged, not caring. We could tell them our real names, but that would blow our cover and would go against the story we told the cops here. Sam was right though, we were leaving anyway.<br>"I'm Dean, and this here is my brother Sam." I said while pointing at my brother.  
>"Hi," was all he said.<br>"Anyways, we should get going. I don't think you'd like to stay here any longer." She shook her head,  
>"No, rather not. I'm Julie by the way. And that's my boyfriend Michael." She said, introducing themselves.<br>"Right, well, I think it's best if we get going. I can't wait to get out of here. Follow us." I said while guiding the way outside, I'm not the one for smalltalk, especially when in a cave I almost died in. Within 10 minutes we were outside. I was glad to get out of there, I'm not much of a fan of caves.

We dropped Julie and Michael off at the police station and said our goodbyes.  
>"Don't get yourselves in that situation again, okay? We won't be able to save you again next time." I warned them.<br>They smiled, "Don't worry, Dean, I don't think we're going camping any time soon." Michael promised.  
>"Okay, well, we should get going." Sam said,and I waved, while driving off.<p>

The entire way towards Forks, I couldn't stop thinking about Bella. I really did miss her. It reminded me of all the good hunting times we had, before she decided that she would retire. Hah, retire at her age, our little genius. I couldn't blame her though, this line of work isn't something everyone can handle.  
>There's no paycheck and besides this being a rewarding line of business, by saving people, you also risk yourself getting caught and thrown into jail or a mental institution. None of those are on my to-do list, especially since I probably won't get out of either of them.<br>The mental institution, well, they'd probably think I'm crazy, probably being the word to sugarcoat this. I think they'd most likely pump me full of drugs just to make sure I don't do anything stupid.  
>Going to jail is a whole different story. If I get arrested, I won't see daylight anymore. With special thanks to <em>Special Agent<em> Victor Henricksen, he'd take care of that. He's seriously trying to pin a couple of murders on me. Now I know I'm not a saint, but I'm definitely not a murderer.

Bella knows all about this, she's broken a few laws with us. You know, the whole credit card fraud, breaking and entering, impersonating FBI, among other things, and an occasional beat up event is just the tip of the iceberg in our job. If you're not strong enough, mentally and physically, you will not make it.

'Bella' I thought. I really do wonder what's up. She sounded wrong, not her usual self. Scared almost. The thought of Bella scared made me speed up the car, wanting more than anything to make sure she was okay. We made it to Forks within a record time, slowing down when we passed the sign '_Welcome to Forks_'. I never did get why anyone would want to live in a small town like Forks. While I'm from a small town myself, I never really preferred one. Everyone knows everything about you then. No, I'd rather stay in a big city, where people like me go unnoticed, except for the ladies. My lips formed a smirk. The ladies would always notice me. Big city or a small town, never makes a difference.

"Where does she live again?" Sam asked, I pointed at the road up ahead.  
>"It's the next block on the left, not hard to find. Come on Sammy, you should know this by now."<br>"I wasn't here when she quit, remember? I was at Bobby's. So it's been way longer since I've been here. Cut me some slack." I just shrugged in response.  
>I took a left turn and parked the car in the drive-way next to Charlie's police cruiser. Normally, I'd stay as far away as possible from police cars, but Charlie is different. He's a family friend and I know he won't bust our asses.<p>

Sam and I got out of the car and slammed the doors shut. Slowly I made my way to the front door and raised my hand to knock. I paused slightly, hand mid-air. Taking a deep breath, I finally knocked the door, waiting for the familiar noise of someone getting up to open the door.  
>Not long after that the door opened, to reveal a face that I haven't been able to get of my mind in the last couple of hours.<p>

**A big thanks to the reviewers of the first chapter:**

**ccgnme, BigTimeGleekBTR, alexza, Miss Snazzy, thiskittenhasclaws2, dolhpin33, , carlynch05, betty69blue and IzzyVlad**

**As for Miss Snazzy, I hope the structure in this chapter is a bit better. Again, I'm no native English speaker so errors will always be there. But I'm working on it :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone!  
>I'm alive! (for those of you that were wondering about that.)<br>Before we get to the new chapter, I want to apologize for the immense long wait.  
>I never really took the time to sit down and start writing, so the first part of the chapter was written a couple of months ago and the second part in the last couple of days.<br>I finally was able to sit my ass down and start writing (which was probably because I had a whole week of not doing anything at all.)  
>This chapter is longer than the previous ones, I figured I owed you guys that much!<strong>

**Also, I'd like to thank all the people who took the time to review (many thanks) and especially the people who added my story to their favorites and are following this story :D**

**I do hope you like this chapter. I understand if you don't as it took me a lot of effort to write something that would read easily.**  
><strong>As asked in the previous update, Beta-readers are much needed, since I'm no native English speakerwriter..**

**Okay, enough of this, on with the chapter!**

_Sam and I got out of the car and slammed the doors shut. Slowly I made my way to the front door and raised my hand to knock. I paused slightly, hand mid-air. Taking a deep breath, I finally knocked on the door, waiting for the familiar noise of someone getting up to open the door.__Not long after that the door opened, to reveal a face that I haven't been able to get of my mind in the last couple of hours._

My heart's going crazy. It's been a long time since I could feel it thumping in my chest. Even while hunting my heart keeps a slow and steady pace. For some reason though, this makes me a lot more nervous. It's been three years since we've all been together; hunting, having fun, drinking. Even though some of us were under aged at the time, drinking is something you will do when seeing the things we've seen.

I take a shaky breath and wait for the door to be opened. Why is it, that time slows down when you're waiting for something. This always drives me insane. Sure, during the hunt it's a big plus. Time slowing down boosts your reaction speed. Which is a handy thing when dodging sharp objects that are being thrown at you, just to give an example.

The handle turns, and the door creaks while it's being opened. Beautiful brown eyes meet mine and I can feel my muscles relaxing and a smile playing on my lips. She's probably more beautiful now that three years ago, if that's even possible. I frown a bit, wondering where these thoughts came from.

'_Don't think like this, she's like a sister to you, man_' I think to myself. We practically grew up together, or at least, she and Sam did. Being on the road together always makes people more closer than others, especially in this line of business. You have to have each other's back. If you don't, the chance of survival is minimal.  
>But her eyes, they're just mesmerizing. I feel like I could stare in them all day.<p>

I hear Sam clearing his throat next to me, giving me a small nudge. I immediately straighten up and turn my gaze to Charlie, who is now looking suspiciously at me.

"Hey Charlie, long time no seen," I greet him, while giving a small nod.

I hear Sam letting out a small snort, him being obvious to my actions and behavior. I fight the temptation to kick him, but there's always time for that later.

Charlie nods back at me and Sam, "Same to you, Dean, Sam, how have you guys been?"

Sam and I share a look, both knowing this will not be fun, explaining to Bella and Charlie that our father had died.

Charlie and dad, they were best buddies when still in the corps. Which is how we met Bella. She came to hunt with us in an unusual way, but let's not get into that. Charlie luckily knows what we do, which makes a lot of things a lot easier. Renee, Bella's mother, doesn't know. I think that's a good thing. She would never allow Bella to hunt with us. It being too dangerous and all that.

Bella also had a great bond with dad. God, she's going to be devastated. Sam better help me out with telling them. I'm still working on living without dad. And as much as I hate to admit it, it's not going to well. Sam knows this, but luckily he's been letting me deal with it in my own way. As long as I'm dealing with it, it's fine with him, I suppose.

"Hey Bells," I hear Sam say from beside me, causing Bella's eyes to leave my face. She was studying my face, most likely, wondering what was up.

"Hi Sam, it's been a while." She said with a small smile.

"Okay, enough with the awkwardness. You boys are going to come in or what?" Charlie opened the door some more, allowing Sam and me to walk inside.

"You lads have a seat in the living room, I'll get you a beer. Bella, what do you want?"

"I suppose I can't trick you into giving me a beer as well?" Bella asked with a playful, but hopeful, tone.

"Funny, Bella. I'll bring you a coke." Charlie said while walking into the kitchen. **(A/N: I'm assuming here that it's illegal in America to drink any alcohol under the age of 21? If this isn't correct, please let me know, since where I'm from you can drink beer when you're 16)**

The living room hadn't changed much. Still one big couch and two chairs at the side, all positioned in front of the TV. Sam took one of the chairs, giving me a look I knew all too well. '_I guess he's onto me, damn_.' I thought while taking a seat on the couch. Bella sat down on the same couch, but made sure there was enough space between us. For some reason this gesture gave me a weird knot-feeling in my stomach. I didn't think about it much, and waved it away.

"So," Bella started, looking at both of us, "how have you guys been?"

"Not too bad, actually, just living the dream, y'know?" Bella snorted at that, I guess that was a little too much sarcasm.

"Sure, Dean, I'm sure it's a dream. No, really, I mean, what's so important that you couldn't tell me over the phone?"

"What's so important _you _wanted that _you_ couldn't say over the phone?" I countered, trying to buy some time.

"Don't answer my question with another question Dean, just answer it. What did you want to talk about?" Bella said annoyed.

I sighed and looked at Sam, who had his eyebrows raised at me, silently asking what the hell was wrong with me. I rolled my eyes at him and told Bella we should wait until Charlie was there as well.  
>A few minutes later, Charlie came in holding 3 beers and a glass of coke.<p>

"So, Sam, Dean, Bella said you had something to say?" I glared at Bella, who in turn smiled at me in victory.

"Yeah, um, I'm not sure where to start, just that we've, um.." I wasn't sure at all how to explain this. How to tell someone their best friend was murdered by a demon.  
>How someone's father-figure had died because of me. If I hadn't been in that coma, if I hadn't challenged the son of a bitch, maybe dad would still be alive.<p>

"The reason we didn't tell you over the phone, was because it's not the kind of news you would want to hear over the phone." Sam explained, helping me out. I looked at him, grateful that he wasn't letting me do all the talking.

Bella's smile fell, "What do you mean? What kind of news?"

"It's about our dad," Sam continued. "He's.." Even Sam was struggling now. It never really is easy to tell someone your father died.

"He's alright, isn't he? I mean, it's not the first time he didn't answer the phone or anything." The tone of Bella's voice almost broke me.

"No Bella," I said, while turning towards her. "He's not alright. Dad.. He.. He died."

It seemed like the room just got a few degrees colder. Sam nervously looked at Bella and Charlie.

Charlie didn't say a word, he never was a man of many words, his look said enough though. Bella, however, stood up, mumbled a quick apology and hastily made her way outside. I watched her run for the woods through the windows.

"I'll go after her, she shouldn't be alone." I stood up, nodding at Sam and followed Bella outside.  
>I knew Sam would talk to Charlie about this, explaining what had happened.<p>

I followed Bella into the woods, walking at a slow pace. I could try and run after her, but knowing her, she's going to need a little time to deal.

There's this spot, not far from here, where she used to go. I decided to look there first, since it's the only place I know where we met a couple of times.  
>We used to just sit there, enjoying the peace and quiet, looking at the stars.<p>

I made my way to the clearing, hoping she'd be there. During the walk, I let my thoughts wander, thinking back to the good times we had a couple of years ago. I also wondered about what Bella was going to say, before I dropped the bomb on her, telling her that the man, who taught her how to hunt, had died at the hands of the things we kill.

I stopped walking when I saw Bella. She was sitting up the hill, where we used to gaze at the stars at night, drinking beer I had sneaked out. She had her back turned towards me, but I could see her shoulders moving as she was crying.

I slowly made my way towards her and kneeled down beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders. She immediately reacted by grabbing my jacket and pulling me closer.

"Shh, Bella, it'll be okay." I tried to comfort her, while sitting down a bit more comfortable.

"H-h-how will it b-be okay, Dean? H-he's gone. He's not coming b-back." She said while shaking her head.

"Because we'll avenge him. And will kill as many sons of bitches as we can in the meantime. We can't keep dwelling in the past about this, that'll do us no good." '_Hear me talking, I'm starting to sound like Sam._' I thought  
>Bella looked at me, tears still in her eyes. I carefully wiped them away with my thumbs.<p>

"Come on, let's go back home. Then you can tell me what you wanted to talk about, okay?" I stood up, holding out a hand for her to take.

She shook her head, grabbing my hand and pulling me back down.

"No, let's stay here for a little while like old times. I'll tell you later."

I sighed and nodded, sitting back down next to her. I put my arm back over her shoulders, pulling her close, while she rested her head on my shoulder. I think we sat like that for at least an hour, not saying anything. Just watching the sun disappear in the sky and watching the darkness take over.

At some point, I don't even know when, we started holding hands. Just stroking it gently. When thinking about this, it made me feel weird. I never did this with Bella, it almost seemed like the wrong thing to do.

´_Friends don't do this, do they? God, why am I feeling like this with her?_' I really started to get confused her by all these emotions. I mean, I'm Dean Winchester. I don't do emotions. Right?

Suddenly, without any warning, she let go of my hand and jumped up.

"Okay! Let's go home. I'll tell you what I wanted to talk to you about on the way back." She said while making her way back to her house.

I quickly got up and followed her, curious about what she was about to say.

+++++++++++++++++spn+++++++++++++++++++++++

I couldn't breathe. It felt like my lungs just shut down.  
>I had to get out of the house, it felt like the walls just came at me.<p>

I got up, mumbling a small apology and ran out the door, into the woods. My mind was racing with all the thoughts that came to me after hearing about John.

John, dead? No, there had to be some kind of mistake. John can't be dead, I mean.. He just can't be!  
>But, then, if he wasn't, Sam and Dean wouldn't be here, telling me so. They look so.. so sad. I guess that's what made me keep looking at Dean when Charlie opened the door. I was planning on staying on the couch, but right before he had opened the door I hurried to stand next to him. His eyes looked so full of hurt. His smile tried to mask it, and maybe to everyone else he'd succeeded. But I know him. This is the worst for him.<p>

I kept running until I found the familiar spot I was looking for. Dean and I used to come here so often, just looking up to the sky, enjoying the stars.  
>The moment I sat down a sob escaped my lips. And when that happened, well, you can guess the dam broke and everything came pouring out.<p>

I heard someone behind me, slowly making its way towards me. The moment the person kneeled down and put an arm around me, I knew it was Dean. I grabbed on to his jacket and just held on, while I kept crying, the smell of his leather jacket filling my nose.

I'm glad Dean was the one to come after me. He knows when to leave me be and do my thing. Not that Sam wouldn't have done the same thing, but I know he'd probably keep staring at me until I'd talk to him.  
>I must say, I enjoyed the time we sat there, watching the sky. It felt like old times. I was so nervous when I got up and opened the door, but the nervousness quickly left when they both looked exactly the same, only slightly older, of course.<br>_  
>'I'm gonna have to ask Dean about the whole staring thing though, that was kinda weird<em>. _And what was that thing with us holding hands, that's so unlike Dean. I gotta admit though, it did feel nice._' I thought while waiting for Dean to catch up, after I got up, telling him we should go back. I know it's been three years, did I change that much?

Dean caught up with me in a matter of seconds, slowing down beside me, to match the pace I was walking at. I decided to keep it at a slow pace, so I could explain everything to him, if he were to have any questions.

"So, what I wanted to talk to you about.." I started, hesitantly.

"Shoot." '_I like how he's always so direct._'

"I want back in. Hunting with you and Sam, I mean." _'Now more than ever_.' I thought.

Dean stopped walking and looked at me. "Are you sure?"

I turned to look at him, wondering if he wanted me back with them.

"It's not that I don't want you to, Bella. '_I swear it's creepy how well he reads me_' I'm more worried about your safety. You know, better than anyone else, that it's not safe." He started walking again.

"I know that Dean, trust me, I do. It's just. I don't want to stay here, so I figured, why not travel with you? Might actually do something useful with my life."

"Mind telling me what changed your mind about starting hunting again?"

"Would you mind if I told you that later?" I asked, looking at him.

His face became serious, "I do mind, you know that. I don't like to go along with anything unless I got all the info. But, I also know that, when you're ready, you'll tell me. I just hope that's sooner rather than later."

I nodded and continued walking with Dean.

A few minutes later, Dean broke the silence. "Hey, Bella?"

"Yea?"

"Does Charlie know you want to come hunting with us? I mean, did you actually talk this through with him?"

I smiled at that, "Yeah, I did talk to him about it and he agreed to let me go. However, that was before.. you know.. with your dad.." I just couldn't get the sentence out. Not just because it was hurting me, but because I knew this was hurting Dean, and Sam, so much more.

"I'll have to talk to him about that, see if he still agrees if it's just the three of us. Maybe you could help me with that?" I bumped my shoulder against his arm in a playful way. Dean _was _always known for talking his way out of things and, on occasion, also talking himself into trouble. He did need to learn to shut up sometimes.

Dean responded to that nudge by casually hanging his arm around my shoulders.

"Why, of course, miss Swan," he started, "I'll do my best to make sure you can join us in our adventure." He said smiling, which in turn caused me to smile slightly as well.

'_Maybe this'll work out after all, let's just hope Charlie will still agree._'

+++++++++++++++++spn+++++++++++++++++++++++

When we got back at the house, I removed my arm from her shoulders.

_'Don't want Charlie to get any thoughts about that, that'll definitely be the end of Bella's chance.'_

She opened the door and walked to the living room. I followed her in and closed the door behind us.

The table in front of the couch was a couple of beer bottles richer. I looked at Sam, silently asking how it went. He just nodded, which told me that he told Charlie everything he wanted and needed to know.

"Hey guys, sorry about running away like that." Bella quietly said to Sam and Charlie.

Sam smiled and said, "don't worry about it, Bella. We understand."

Charlie, the man of very few words, just nodded and smiled reassuringly at Bella, letting her know, in his own way, that everything's alright.

"Okay, who's hungry?" I said, while shrugging of my jacket, "I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving!" _'Yup, leave it to me to change the topic. I hate it when these moods just keep going around.'_Everyone looked at me like I was insane.

"Ah, come on guys! Don't look at me like that. We gotta eat, don't we?" In de corner of my eye, I saw Bella staring at me with a genuine smile on her face.  
><em><br>'Good, she should smile more often. She looks beautiful when smiling. Wait. What? Since when do I think Bella looks beautiful? Not that she isn't, but I just don't talk about that. God, I'm confused, I gotta think about these thoughts. And shit, I feel like I'm becoming Sam. He's the chick, not me. Okay Dean, shut up! Wait, I think she's saying something.. What?'  
><em>  
>"Sorry, what?"<p>

Bella rolled her eyes, "Daydreaming again, are we, Dean?"

I smirked at her "Of course, I was thinking about this hot chick I saw a couple days go. I mean she was ho-OUCH what the hell was that for?!" I yelled out, while rubbing the back of my head. I swear, that girl has no idea how strong she is.

"I asked if you wanted to get take out, since preparing a meal for you guys is going to take a while."

I looked at Sam and Charlie, "Fine by me, Chinese sound good?"  
>They both nodded and Charlie got up to get the menu and to write down what everyone wanted.<p>

I picked up my jacket again and looked at Bella "You coming Bells? You know where this place is and as much as I like driving in my baby, I actually am starving."

She, once again, rolled her eyes. "Yeah okay Dean, let's go. 'Cause we can't have you starving, can we?"

We got in the car and the moment it started, 'Walking on Sunshine' came blaring through the speakers. "Oh, for the love of.. seriously? This is the only radio station you have here?" I knew I was whining, but come on, this song just sucks!

"Hey, I actually like this song, Dean!" Bella said, while singing along with the music. I glanced at her, as we were driving towards the Chinese place. She actually looked happy. '_Well, fine. Just this once I guess. As long as she's happy._'

Within a few minutes we reached the only Chinese place in Forks. After parking my precious baby, we went in and went to order.

"Bella!" a girl called from behind us, right before I started calling out the order.  
>We both looked behind us and saw a girl waving happily at us, well, Bella, while the rest of the people just smiled.<p>

"Oh, hey Angela" Bella waved back. I nodded at Bella, she nodded back, understanding she could have a couple minutes speaking to her friends.

"Hey, how's it going?" I could hear the girl – Angela – ask Bella when she arrived at the table.

"Oh, you know, just getting some food here." '_Well, what else would one do at a Chinese restaurant, if not get food?'_ I asked myself while shaking my head. '_I guess Bells isn't really in the mood to speak with them.'  
><em>  
>After placing the order, I walked up to Bella, "Hey, Bells, you got the money for the food that Charlie gave us?"<p>

I don't know if it was the fact that I asked that or the fact that I walked up to Bella, all eyes on the table were on me. _'Yeah, this isn't awkward. At all.'_

"Oh yeah, hold on, it's in my pocket." Bells reached for her back pocket, pulled out a 50 dollar bill and handed it to me.

"Thanks babe, you want anything to drink while we wait?" I smirked at her. She knew I was just joking around. It wasn't the first time I called her babe, it kind of was a standard routine, when someone was getting to touchy or when I knew she wasn't at ease.

"Sure," she smirked back. _'That's my girl'_"I'll be right there." I nodded in response and walked back to the cashier.

"Hi, can I get a beer and a coke with that order?" I took the beer that was handed to me and took a sip.

"Oh my god, Bella, who's he? Is he your boyfriend? Tell us!" I hear another girl asking.

"He's an old friend. His name is Dean. But, I should go. Enjoy your meal." She said while walking back to me.

"Thanks for the save." She said when she came up to me.

"No problem, I couldn't let you just stand there, while you were obviously not comfortable." I said smiling while putting an arm around her protectively.  
>Bella leaned into me a bit more and I felt her relax against me, while we were finishing our drinks.<p>

Luckily, 10 minutes later our food was ready. While we were leaving, I saw Bella wave at the girl Angela. I held the door open and she ducked under my arm to go outside.  
>When I started the car again, Warrant's song Cherry Pie came blaring through the speakers. A smirk formed on my lips.<p>

"Now this is more like it." I told her, while singing along to the lyrics.

I saw Bella roll her eyes and saw a small smile forming on her lips. "Of course you'd like a song that has you're favorite food as its title." She commented.

I just grinned at her, while I continued to sing along until we reached the Swan residence again.

"Food's here!" I yelled, when we walked in.

Charlie stuck his head out the kitchen, "Alright, let me get some beers."

Bella and I put the food on the table and we all grabbed a box and chopsticks and sat down to eat.  
>I looked at Bella and slightly nudged her, hinting towards Charlie. She gave me a stern look as if saying 'back off, I'll get to it'. I rolled my eyes at her.<p>

About fifteen minutes later she asked Charlie if she could talk to him in the kitchen. _'Guess it's easier for her when we're not in the same room' _I thought.

+++++++++++++++++spn+++++++++++++++++++++++

After Charlie and I got to the kitchen I started to nervously pick at the hem of my shirt. _'What if Charlie doesn't let me go with them?'_ I shook my head a little, pushing the thought away. No, I was going to talk to my dad and I'm not going to ask him for anything.  
>I'm old enough and I can do whatever I want. This is just for formalities. '<em>Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Bella.'<em>I sighed.

"Bells?" Charlie's voice rang through the kitchen. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

I turned and look at Charlie, "I wanted to tell you that, even though we initially discussed I'd be going with John, Sam and Dean, I still want to go with them." I quietly told him. "I know you probably won't be too happy with that, since John won't be there, but.."  
>I looked at his face, trying to read him, which wasn't very successful. The man's a mystery. "But, I know Sam and Dean will keep me safe, no matter what. And I want to help them get the thing that did this to John."<p>

I stopped talking, letting Charlie take this in and see what he would say. Would he forbid me from going with them?

Charlie narrowed his eyes, while thinking about what I said. "Bells," he started.  
>"Even though I do not want you in any danger, I know that that's impossible when you're out hunting, so there's nothing much I can do about that." I slowly let out the breath I didn't know I was holding.<br>"But I also know, there's nothing I can do to stop you. I know that if I'd say no, you'd probably run off anyway. And, knowing Dean.." He started grumbling, "The kid would probably help you with that as well. So, I guess you're still going."

A smile played on my lips _'He's letting me go?'_I thought.

"However, I am going to have a talk with Dean, _before _you go." He said with a stern voice.

I nodded so fast, I'd thought maybe my head would fall off. "Okay," I quietly agreed, not trusting my voice. I started to walk back to the living room, before my dad stopped me.

"Sent Dean into the kitchen, will you?" I nodded at him.

"Sure, dad. Thanks" I said, smiling at him. He just nodded back, with his game face on. _'I hope Dean's not in trouble' _I thought.

As I walked back to Sam and Dean, they both looked up. I didn't see Sam's face, but I noticed Dean seemed curious.

"So, how'd it go?" He asked me, when I sat down on the couch next to him.

"He wants to talk to you. In the kitchen." I told him, while his eyebrows shot up.

"Just me?" He said, looking at Sam, who just shrugged. "Okay, let's get this over with then."

He got up and winked at me, while he disappeared into the kitchen.

Ten minutes later, Dean came walking back, with Charlie following him. Dean, of course, wore his famous smirk. He sat down on the couch as he grabbed his beer and sipped from it.

"Well, Sammy, I guess we're going to have some company on the road." He directed at Sam.  
>He then turned to me and said, "You should go and pack, Bells. And, only one duffel, ok?"<p>

I rolled my eyes as I stood up, "Yes, Dean, I know the drill. I'll go pack." I went upstairs as I heard Sam ask Dean if we were leaving right away. He responded, saying he wanted to get back to Bobby's as soon as possible, which would mean we'd have to hit the road.

+++++++++++++++++spn+++++++++++++++++++++++

"Dean, that's a 25 hour drive" Sam exclaimed.

I took another sip of the beer, "I know, Sam. That's why I want to hit the road as soon as Bells finished packing. I'm not too tired, so you can sleep until it's your turn to drive." I explained.

Bella came back downstairs in record time, "I was already packing before you got here." She explained, smiling sheepishly, as I looked at her duffel with raised eyebrows.

"Okay Sam, let's get going." I nodded at Sam, who stood up and cleaned up the table.

"Charlie, it was good to see you again, man. Sorry it wasn't under better circumstances." I held out a hand to Charlie, who took and shook it.

"You too, Dean. You take care of Bells now, you hear me?" I nodded at him.

"Yes sir, you can count on it. I'll make sure she calls you every now and again. And I'll keep her in one piece, I promise." He gave me one nod and let go of my hand.

I made my way to my car, grabbing Bella's duffel out of her hands, to place it in the trunk of the Impala. Once that was done, I leaned against the car, waiting for Sam and Bella to say their goodbye's.  
>Sam shook Charlie's hand, making the same promise I had, making sure we'd keep Bella safe.<p>

He turned to look at Bella, saying her goodbye to Charlie as well, once he reached the Impala.

I couldn't hear what she was saying, but I saw tears on her cheeks. I had to really force myself to keep standing where I was. Somehow seeing Bella cry again, made my heart ache. Charlie reached out to wipe them away, as he quietly said some things to Bella.  
>She nodded, smiled and hugged Charlie tight.<p>

Charlie remained in the doorway as we got in the car. Sam in the passenger seat, next to me and Bella slid in the car behind Sam.  
>I gave him one last wave, before getting in the car as well. We all waved at him before driving off.<p>

This was it. We were going to be travelling again, the three of us. But, first things first. There was some stuff we needed to get at Bobby's place, as well as getting Bella back in shape.  
>Three years without hunting, tends to get you a bit sloppy, and that's exactly what we don't need.<p>

"Hey Dean," Sam said, "wake me up when you want me to drive, okay." I nodded at him as he got comfortable in his seat.

I looked at Bella in the rear view mirror, "Bells, you might want to get some shut eye too. It's a long drive."

"Yeah," she whispered quietly.

I reached back and grabbed her hand, slightly squeezing it, letting her know that everything was going to be okay. She smiled gratefully and squeezed back before letting go.  
>I turned the music down a bit for Sam, but leaving it loud enough to make sure it wasn't too quiet in the car as we drove on the quiet abandoned road.<p>

**And there you have it!**  
><strong>Again, I hope you liked it..<strong>

**I will let you know, that I might be able to update once more before mid-March.**  
><strong>After that, I'll be going to Australia for a year (yay!) and I won't be able to update then, so the story will be on hiatus until I'm back from down under.<strong>

**Till next time!**

**Regenboogpanda**


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